Rise of the Serpents/Transcript

!Master Ulmulk: (prologue) Long before time was designated, the First Battlejitzu Sensei made the Metaworld utilizing four elemental weapons. But when he passed, a dark presence sought out to accumulate them all; Baron Kenji. So I, Master Ulmulk, his brother, sought out to find four ninja to amass them first...

(The episode starts at the Monastery of Battlejitzu with Master Ulmulk meditating in one room and the Metaninjas making fighting sounds in another room.)

Ryouta: (offscreen) Siege ram! Oh my god, is that the most awesome Siege Weapon you have ever seen?

Garlic: (offscreen) Stop doing it yourself. We need to attack together.

(Master Ulmulk goes to the training compound and finds that none of the Ninja are training there.)

Alec: (offscreen) Jockey, why are you using your Siege Units on me? You need to use them on the Gauls!

(Master Ulmulk goes to look for them in a different room and finds them playing 0 AD.)

Alec: Fantastic! You destroyed my nation!

Jockey: Who, me?

Garlic: Okay. Now!

(As the Metaninjas continue with their video game, Ulmulk breaks their computers.)

Ninja: Aw sh*t...

Garlic: Aw, freak!

Alec: What happened?!

Garlic: It took us three days to get there.

Alec: Why did you do that?! Why?!

Master Ulmulk: Albeit the fact that Baron Kenji eluded through a tornado, that does NOT mean he will never return for the Gold Weapons of Battlejitzu!

Jockey: I found three websites matching your command of "Albeit the fact that Baron Kenji eluded through a tornado, that does NOT mean he will never return for the Gold Weapons of Battlejitzu!".

Alec: Yeah. Metaworld is peaceful now. Peace sucks ass. There is no one to save. There is nothing to do.

Garlic: We can train next week.

Master Ulmulk: Never put off your work.

Garlic: Well, I was gonna put off eating this pizza. So if that is the case-(Ulmulk kicks his fingers.)-Sh*t!

Master Ulmulk: No pizza for you! In order to reach your full potential, you must train!

Ryouta: Uh...remember when we did a the Vortex of Creation? I thought that was very deranged.

Master Ulmulk: (sighs) You four have not even scratched the surface of your full potential. There are still several  secrets you have yet to unlock. You have not even tapped into what potential your Gold Weapons hold.. (Ryouta's blade incinerates the pizza slice.)

Garlic: You wanna talk secret potential? Check this out. (He uses his scythe to repair the PCs so that the Metaninjas can resume their game.)

Jockey: I have very few wants, Garlic, and do not worry, Sensei. We will be ready when Baron Kenji returns. (Midori runs into the room.)

Midori: Guys! Baron Kenji! He has returned! He was spotted approaching the Chīsana Me No Kenbikyō No Inkei Tribe!

(The Ninja struggle to prepare for the adventure. Midori gives Alec his nun chucks.)

Alec: Erththankyoueruh-

Midori: Hurry!

Alec: Just fine!

(The Ninja rush to the Seiryuu cabinets to travel with their dragons, but are showing chubbiness. One of the Jockey gets stuck in the entrance. Garlic's Wyvern collapses when he gets on. Alec falls off of his Wyrm and cannot get up.)

Midori: Uh...can I help?

Ryouta: Sorry, sis. Where we go, peril abounds. This is a job for the Metaninjas. (Feels the fat on his arm.) Uh...uh...do I need a bit of exercise? (laughs nervously)

(The Ninja fly off to the Chīsana Me No Kenbikyō No Inkei neighborhood with their Seiryuu.)

Midori: Will they ever reach their full potential?

Master Ulmulk: In time. A long time, but in time.

(The Spies are shown flying up on the clouds.)

Garlic: Like old times, hey, Stoner?

Ryouta: You guys believe what Master said about unlocking our full potential?

Alec: He is onto something. I mean, since we got these Gold Weapons, we never needed to use them. I wonder what they do.

Jockey: I'm sorry.

Garlic: Do not know about you, but is anyone else somewhat excited about combating Baron Kenji? I have been looking forward to using new Battlejitzu moves. Could be the perfect opportunity.

Alec: Haha! Race you there?

(The Shinobi race to the Chīsana Me No Kenbikyō No Inkei hood.)

Ryouta: (at their destination) Chīsana Me No Kenbikyō No Inkei Village. First Yakuza there wins.

(The Metaninjas speed through the last stretch while approaching the Chīsana Me No Kenbikyō No Inkei Tribe. They all land at the same time.)

Ryouta: Haha! I was first!

Alec: No! No one was quicker than me!

Garlic: Hahaha! My feet were down before yours!

Jockey: Who, me?

(The villeins are screaming and running to their houses. A terrible shadow appears and bad laughter is heard in the background. The Ninja prepare for this scenario.)

Ryouta: Stay sharp, fellas. Whatever happens, never let your guard down.

(The laughter and shadow turned out to be owned by a baby boy wearing a black hood.)

Wakamura: (laughs maliciously) It is I, Wakamura Kenji! I demand all the candy in town, or else!

Alec: Wakamura Kenji? I thought we were gonna face Baron Kenji.

Garlic: It is his child.

Alec: Harumph.

Garlic: Looks like he escaped his jail again. And to think we could have been doing Battlejitzu already.

Wakamura: Er...er...gimmie your candy or I will release the Emerald Snakes on you!

(The peasants boo at him. He uses the old can trick on them, but they throw carrots at him.)

Wakamura: No way! I asked for sweets, not vegetables! Veggies suck! (Grunts and falls down.)

Ryouta: He is gonna need to do a lot better than use an old bedtime story to frighten people.

Jockey: I'm sorry, the Emerald Snakes are real, Ryouta. They are not something to joke about.

Ryouta: Emerald Snakes? Real? We are talking about the ancient race of serpents who once ruled Metaworld and were locked in subways.

Alec: (squeals) Sealed in five different catacombs to separate the worried villages and ensure they do not unify to exact their redress upon those who put them there.

Ryouta: It was an old wise tale to teach children not to poke their snouts where they do not belong. Do you think it is a bit suspicious nobody has ever found one of their catacombs?

Garlic: Well that is because you would be a retard to look for one. If there was anything was scared of more than Wyverns, it was Serpents. Rubber or not. (The Metaninjas grab Wakamura.) Do not worry, folks, we will take care of Small Fry. Nothing to see here.

Wakamura: Worship me or suffer my wrath! I will give you to the count of three! One! Two!

Ryouta: What are we supposed to do? Give him a time out?

Wakamura: Two and a half!

(Wakamura is shown to be hanging on a sign with apples all over him.)

Wakamura: (screams) You made me your nemesis! Mark my words, you will pay for this!

(The citizens laugh at him as Jockey buys treats for him and his comrades.)

Garlic: Next time, pay for your confection tablets.

Ryouta: Crime does not pay, Chico. You can take that to the bank.

Alec: (taunting Wakamura) Hmm... candyfloss.

Wakamura: (screams in fury)

(The Metaninjas mount their Wyrms when Ryouta drops a scroll.)

Ryouta: Huh? I do not remember putting this here.

Jockey: I'm not sure I understand.

Alec: That is Master's sack. You must have took it in the rush.

Ryouta: And that scroll, windbag?

Alec: I know there is a scroll, but what does it say? It is written in chicken scratch.

Jockey: Not chicken scratch, it is in the language of Malayalam.

Ryouta: Uh, can you read it?

Jockey: Hmm... I can, but there is nothing to read. Just kidding! This symbol means "Forecast".

Alec: Forecast?

Ryouta: It means it tells the future.

Alec: Of course. Haha. I knew that.

Jockey: I'm not sure I understand, Alec. It says "One Metaninja will rise above the others and becomes the Air Ninja. The Ninja destined to kill the Moonlit Baron."

Alec: (gasps) Look, a picture!

Ryouta: Dark Baron? Hold on... Baron Kenji? Wait a second! Is that us? Is anyone else thinking what I am thinking?

Alec: Like how good I am gonna look blowing wind?

Ryouta: Is it NOT obvious I am gonna be the Air Ninja?

Alec: The color suits me, scumbag!

Jockey: In technicality, I am the best. Also, OK, I found this on the web for "The color suits me, scumbag!".

Garlic: Everyone, shut the hell up! Remember why Master brought us together in the first place? We are a squad. We were not meant to see this and for great reason. Come on, let us head back to our house. We have training to do.

Alec: It is time I added workmanship to my routine.

Jockey: I'm not sure I understand.

Garlic: Yeah. I better work on new moves.

(All the Metaninjas except Ryouta head home).

Ryouta: Could I be the Air Ninja?

(Wakamura is wandering aimlessly at the Iceberg Barrens.)

Wakamura: Stupid Ninja. I will show then who they are dealing with.

(Wakamura boots a rock that lands somewhere, clanging.)

Wakamura: What is this?

(He rubs the floor to find out what it is. It is shown that he found the first of five Emerald Snake Catacombs, The Hypnotizer Catacomb and unlocks it, falling inside in the progress.)

Wakamura: (Wilhelm Scream while falling)

(He lands inside the ice catacomb.)

Slithraa: You are out of your mind to go so far away from your house, young one. (Hypnotizes Wakamura.) Look into my eyeballs. Give up your mind. I will control you.

(As Wakamura breaks the trance, he slips on the ice, causing Slither to hypnotize himself after looking at his own reflection on the iced column.)

Wakamura: Ah ha ha. No. I will control you from now on.

Slithraa: What shall you have us do, sensei?

Wakamura: (surprised) Us?

(The whole Hypnotize Army attends the situation occurring.)

Wakamura: My own army of serpents! He he he!

(The Metaninjas are back at the Monastery.)

Alec: So then we all agree. The forecast states that one of us will become the Air Ninja and the issue will not rest until it is decided.

Jockey: The air quality is moderate, at 79 right now.

Ryouta: What about a competition? Last Ninja standing is the best, and will be declared the Air Ninja! I dote it!

(They enter to see Midori training at the tuition compound.)

Alec: (laughs shyly) Hey, Midori. Close to beating Ryouta's speed record?

Midori: I have gotten there. Heard what happened in town. False alarm?

Ryouta: Yeah. Uh, but we are gonna need the space. Sorry, Mid.

Garlic: Two trails. Then the champs of each face off for the title. Armors for our own protection. It is time to see what these puppies can do.

Ryouta: Hey, Midori. Wanna stay and watch me curb stomp them?

Midori: No thank you. I will visit Chīsana Me No Kenbikyō No Inkei Village. Go crazy.

Garlic: Alright! First up: Ryouta versus Alec! Sentō Sakebi-(The combat commences.)

(Alec uses his nunchucks, but electrocutes himself. The battle is shown to be even. Both Metaninjas fight with their might until Ryouta uses his broadsword to blast plasma at Alec, gaining victory.)

Ryouta: Next up: Garlic versus Jockey!

Alec: Ah.

Ryouta: Sentō Sakebi!

(Combat is shown to be a balanced battle at the start. Jockey uses his Death Star to freeze Garlic's legs. This causes Garlic to stay in one place. Jockey attacks Garlic with the other Chakram but Garlic deflects each shot. Garlic tackles Jockey with his Scythe, giving him victory.)

Alec: For the prize and the title of coolest ninja...bulls**t bulls**t bulls**t... Sentō Sakebi.

(The two remaining Spies fight evenly with their respective weaponry until Garlic uses the power of his Scythe to knock Ryouta off the ground, gaining victory.)

Alec and Jockey: (celebrating)

Garlic: Hell yeah!

(Ryouta viciously gets up, then loses control over his weapon as it burns.)

Ryouta: It is too hhot!

Jockey: I don't find that particularly hot.

Alec: It is incendiary!

(Ryouta loses control of the weapon to the extent that he throws it on the ground. This causes the Monastery to burn. Ulmulk goes outside fast and uses the Throwing Starts to melt the fire.)

Master Ulmulk: (livid) What the hell, Ninja?!

Alec: Uh, we were trying ta figure out who is the Air Ninja. (Jockey punches him.) Ow! Did I say Air Ninja? No, sorry. (clears throat) What Iwhat I said was fair.

Master Ulmulk: You were not supposed to optically discern this.

Ryouta: But Master, we wanna know. Which one of us is the chosen one?

Master Ulmulk: None of you.

Ryouta: But my Gladius. It was so bright. Is this what you meant by unlocking our Gold Weaponry?

Master Ulmulk: You are only at the start. And the street is lengthy and winding, but yes, this is what I meant. If this is what it must take for you to train, then so be it. But none of you are the level of what it takes to be the Air Ninja.

(At the Chīsana Me No Kenbikyō No Inkei Hood, the civilians are screaming and fleeing into their houses.)

Midori: What now?

(It is shown that Wakamura returned and stole all the sweets.)

Wakamura: Take the treats! Take it all! Mmmmmwwwwahahahahahaha!

(Midori is shocked to see that the Hypnotizers are with Wakamura as Slither hypnotizes the whole tribe.)

Scales: This makes no sense, Colonel. Marauding an entire suburb for candy?

Slither: You will do as I command because I hold the staff!

(Back at the Monastery, the Metaninjas are practicing with their weaponry while Master Ulmulk sees through the Soul Smoke that the Emerald Snakes have been released.)

Master Ulmulk: The Emerald Snakes are back! Everyone in Chīsana Me No Kenbikyō No Inkei Neighborhood is in peril!

Garlic: Calm down, Sensei. We were just there. It was a brat who says he-

Master Ulmulk: The Soul Smoke does not lie! An ancient malice has been released!

Ryouta: Midori is there right now.

Alec: Midori?

(The Metaninjas go to the Seiryuu cabinets to mount their respective Wyverns.)

Ryouta: Stay close. Stay together.

Garlic: Would we do it any other way?

(The Ninja arrive at Chīsana Me No Kenbikyō No Inkei Village when the peasants run away.)

Wakamura: I am never coming down from this sugar rush! Woo ho! (The Ninja stand in front of him.)

Garlic: Sorry to bust your buzz, young Kenji.

Alec: But it is past your bedtime.

Wakamura: Seize them!

Slither: (rattling his tail) Seize them!

Ryouta: (shocked) The Emerald Snake? They are real?

(Both the Emerald Snake and the villeins surround the Ninja)

Garlic: It is not them we need to worry about. The whole tribe has been hypnotized.

(Alec uses his weapon, but Jockey stops him.)

Jockey: No! Our weaponry is unstable. We will only do harm, not good.

Alec: I guess that leaves us with flee!

(The Metaninjas run away and meet up with Midori.)

Alec: Midori. You are fine.

Midori: Nope. They have hypnotized everybody in the township.

Alec: Possession. How is this possible?

Midori: When you hear them rattle their tails, do not look them in the eyes. That is how they get you.

Alec: Well, what are we supposed to do? We cannot use our weaponry, and now we gotta fight with our eyes closed? Perfect.

Midori: The serpent with the staff is the Sergeant. He is the one in charge. If we can get the staff from him, it holds the AntiAcid. If we get that, we can save everyone.

Ryouta: Look, men. Forget about the Air Ninja. Let us make Master proud. The four of us.

Garlic: Now you are talking.

Alec: Oh. And Midori, you can be our honorary member.

Midori: Jesus, thank you.

(The Ninja head to the Emerald Snakes.)

Ryouta: You wanna play? How about a lot of Battlejitzu? Sentō Sakebi! (He does Battlejitzu, but loses control of it and falls to the ground, unable to get up.)

Alec: Okay, we are really fat now.

Wakamura: (while escaping) Ha! Consider this a warning, Metaninjas! (laughs insanely)

(Jockey stops him with his ninja starts and approaches him using Battlejitzu.)

Jockey: Sentō Sakebi! Master was right. Never put off your work. We should have dealt with you the first time around.

Wakamura: (shrieks) Retreat!

Slither: Retreat!

(The Emerald Snakes escape, but Garlic stops Slither and punts him to gain the staff from him.)

Garlic: Go ahead. Give me a reason.

(Garlic gains the staff, but Scales hypnotizes him.)

Skales: Look into my eyes. I control you.

Garlic: You control...

Midori: Garlic! (Garlic regains consciousness.) You have the AntiAcid!

Garlic: By god you are correct!

Midori: Fast, the fountain!

Garlic: Great idea.

(They use the fountain to spray the AntiAcid on the whole hood to cleanse the peasants from the hypnosis.)

Ryouta: We are sorry, Master. If we dealt with Wakamura before he became a problem, none of this would have been necessary.

Master Ulmulk: Even lessons learned arduously are lessons learned. Mm...a largely big lamentable has been relinquished. I fear troubling times will come. This is only the commencement.

Jockey: Then we will train and be ready for the Emerald Snake. It is not Baron Kenji, but that we will bring our Agame.

Ryouta: Help us train. Help us realize our potential.

Alec: Yeah. Teach us the secret behind the weaponry of Battlejitzu.

Master Ulmulk: Hmm...there is much to edify. We must return to the monastery.

Midori: Ahhhh, when am I gonna get my own Wyrm?

Master Ulmulk: Patience, Midori. Your time will come.

(Wakamura and the Hypnotizer are back at the Hypnotizer Catacomb.)

Wakamura: Uh...sweets. I need tablets.

Slither: The kid set us free.

Scales: He is a kid. He is not one of us.

Slither: I may not have the staff, but I am still your Colonel! Stand down!

(Scales walks away when a Hypnotizer rifleman confronts him.)

Mesmo: You coward! We all know he is under Wakamura's spell. You are second in command and still you do not do jacks**t?

Scales: Now was not the time. I still hold the key to kill the Yakuza. And when I do that, everyone will see it is I who should be in control. Muahahaha!

(The episode ends with Scales using Garlic to spy on the Shinobi.)